Blessings & Burdens

Spiritual growth comes in brokenness, suffering, and the recognition of spiritual poverty. When God gets me in the valley, meets me where I am, and walks beside me. When He asks me, “Are you ready to go deeper?” and then provides opportunity to fall completely on His grace. When there is a challenge too big for me. When the vision He gives me is beyond anything I can do, and I’m left to find the answers daily in His word and prayer. When I respond to His voice.

Like your family, our family occasionally faces difficulties. If we are in the habit of turning to God’s Word when we’re not facing the burdens and trials of life, then His Word will give us the strength and assurance we need, turning the inevitable burdens into blessings.

In our most recent struggle these are the words that give us comfort, peace, and hope. They are God’s words – for us, and for you.

Consider the work of God, for who can straighten out what He has made crooked? (Ecclesiastes 7:13 HCSB)

Because of the Lord’s faithful love we do not perish, for His mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness! I say: The Lord is my portion, therefore I will put my hope in Him (Lamentations 3:22-24 HCSB)

We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28 HCSB) Romans 8:28-39 says God works all things out for our good, He is for us, gives us the victory, and nothing can separate us from His love.

Consider it a great joy whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. (James 1:2,3)

God’s Word is rich, living, and powerful. Explore for yourself and find true hope.

Expectancy: noun 1. The act, action or state of expecting something. This is such an unsatisfying definition. I define expectancy as a kind of breathless anticipation of something to come. A sit-on-the-edge-of-your-seat feeling because you know something special is on the horizon but you don’t know what it is… yet.

For me, expectancy is spiritual. It is that wondering anticipation every single day because today I know that I will get to see God at work. I don’t know how but I know… because I know He is. It is practicing the presence of God.

Sometimes the feeling is stronger than other times. God is up to something amazing. I know it is coming but I don’t know when and I am always willing to wait for it.

One Thursday, three weeks ago, I awoke with a very strong sense of expectancy… God was going to do something. It was not really surprising given the fact that we had just experienced a miracle that was bringing God A LOT of glory.

The Sunday before, Ron and I experienced the trauma of a serious bus accident with twenty other people from our home church, sixteen of them children. We were on our way to camp when the careless driver of a car caused the overturning of our bus. It was a miracle that not one of us was hospitalized that night. We knew God had protected us.

For the next week Ron and I were not able to do much of anything other than sit in the living room with our family, sleeping and talking. The kids sat there with us most of the time. I think they were just enjoying the fact that we were alive, even if we were asleep!

What does butter have to do with any of this? Well, there was none in the refrigerator. Breakfast time came and with it, no butter for toast. We had not stocked up on groceries before we left for camp and so we were out of butter. It’s just one of those silly things you miss when you don’t have it but neither Ron nor I were well enough to drive to the store for butter.

When you know that your life has just been miraculously spared, what is butter in the eternal scope of things?

Our phone rang off the hook for days, our loving church family calling to make sure we were okay and not in need of anything. Every day we joked together that the next time someone called, we were going to tell them we needed butter, yet every time someone called we’d hang up without the guts to say it. Had I a list of items needed, I might have given it but we were alive… and all we needed was butter. Neither of us could say it.

We ate delicious meals every evening provided by the ladies in my Sunday School class and other friends. They brought us lasagna, pot roast, chili mac, pizza, some really yummy meat loaf, homemade macaroni and cheese, and cheesy potatoes. Those ladies are some good cooks! We laughed that still we had no butter.

On Thursday evening, the day of my strong sense that God was going to do something, it was Miss Bobbie’s turn to bring us supper. I let her in the door and led her to my kitchen where she unpacked our meal. First she pulled out a pot of chili, then a salad, and a pie, then a loaf of French bread…

and then…

…………….. a little tub of Land O’ Lakes whipped butter!

I could hardly contain myself as I let Miss Bobbie out the door and then went to the family room where my family sat waiting for me to tell them what was for supper. “Guess what Miss Bobbie brought us??? She brought us BUTTER!!!” and we laughed together in amazement.

You know that feeling of expectancy I had had that day? It wasn’t until the next day that I realized it was gone. I have seen God do some pretty cool things but it was a stretch for even me to believe that that strong sense of expectancy I had the entire day before was about butter! But try as I might, I could not bring it back and so I knew that the butter was a little gift of love from a Heavenly Father who absolutely amazes me.

Yesterday I decided to share my butter story with my Sunday School class. I so want to encourage them with my testimony of God’s intimate love and grace but I have to admit it took some courage to tell it, as it does now. With the telling I am letting you, my few blog readers, into a little piece of my heart. The piece which believes in an extremely personal God… A Heavenly Father who loves my family so intimately that He would even send us a little tub of butter. The piece of my heart which knows that perhaps my expectancy sounds strange.

In the telling, the story became more amazing. Miss Bobbie said wonderingly, “I don’t even remember buying you butter! I don’t even use it and my husband uses the little packets like from restaurants. Why would I buy butter?! It HAD to be God!” I assured her that, “Yes, Miss Bobbie, I stood right beside you at the counter as you pulled it out of the bag and you said, “And here is butter for your bread.”

Butter??! What is butter?!

This I know to the depths of my soul… it is not about butter. It’s about the most wonderful Father EVER who knows in the deepest way of knowing, who loves me beyond anything I can EVER imagine and who deserves ALL my praise and ALL my love… because of who He is. Not because we needed butter.

But because of Who He is.

I confess. I’ve been rehearsing lies. No, not on purpose but I confess, it is true…

One month ago this week the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry pilot project began in prayer over mentoring matches. From that day until this past weekend I have been fighting a spiritual battle.

My first mistake was to hear lies. Why did I ever think in a million years that I could actually be used by God to be a mentor let alone coordinate an entire mentoring ministry?! I began to rehearse all of those reasons why I cannot be a mentor. There were a lot of them.

The truth I struggled to cling to was that God is in this. There is no doubt it is God who led us this far. (I already know that I cannot mentor without His help.) Obviously He has plans to use this mentoring ministry to make an impact on lives of young women or the enemy of my soul would not even notice. I know the truth of that. Knowing the battle that I am fighting is a spiritual one does not make the fight any easier but it does make it worth it!

God has been urging me in countless ways to “press on” (Philippians 3:14) for over a month and a half now and I determined to do so but I was becoming discouraged and depressed in the fight. Confession: I lost focus on the One who already won the battle. This was mistake number two or perhaps actually mistake number one, which caused mistake number two!

This past weekend, my Father God who sees me, hears me, knows me, even understands my deepest reasons yet loves me took my face in His hands and forced my eyes on Him. On Saturday morning the speaker at our women’s conference looked me in the eye and said, “Tess, your call is irrevocable.” (She then proceeded to pass along the “press on” message!)

Sunday morning’s message went straight to my heart, carrying yet another strong encouragement to “press on toward the mark” but also addressing lies I was listening to and rehearsing.

I felt like I cried every tear left in my body and found myself at the altar recommitting myself to following God’s direction. Recommitting myself to the mentoring ministry. Realigning my focus on the Lover of my soul.

Lessons learned:
1. “What we rehearse gets bigger.” I was rehearsing lies, which nearly drowned me. Praise the Lord I could still hear truth.
2. I must NOT lose my focus on God. Losing my focus makes it all too easy for me to hear lies. My heart and mind require that I purposely focus every day, if not every hour. Last week I began to tweak my schedule to make sure that I had time to spend with Him every day.
3. I must re-visit the “take every thought captive” lesson.
4. This lesson I continue to learn: Take a mentee along in your journey… even the battles you fight. They prayed me through this battle. At the altar a friend said to me, “Last night I told you that you look like you have it all together. Now I know that you do!” It was wrong of me to rehearse lies, but in the end I knew where to go. I am so grateful for my faithful God who patiently waited for me to come to the right conclusion and was waiting for me at the altar when I did. It’s a painful example to be but may God use it to teach them as well!

I serve a good and loving, faithful God who will never give up on me. He knows that I am dust. He knows that He will have to teach and re-teach me so many lessons. He is not done with me. It is an honor to serve Him.

At least two months before our Global Impact Celebration at The Open Door Church, I was asked to do the devotional at the Ladies Tea. I agreed to do it and knew what I wanted to share. That is, I thought I knew. But when I sat down to write it out it just wouldn’t come together. I cried and prayed and cried and prayed. Until the morning of the tea, when I was confident that I finally had on paper what God wanted me to say.

As I waited for my turn to stand and speak, I read over what I had typed out. I suddenly realized that it wasn’t the sweet ladies tea devotional they were probably expecting! Was I really going to get up there and say THAT? But after all the tears and prayers, begging God to help me to say what HE alone wanted me to say, I knew that there was no turning back. Praise the Lord for His grace and strength and answered prayers, no matter how scary!

My GIC Ladies Tea devotional follows:

My earliest memory is of my church nursery. When I was a preschooler, I was singing in church. As an elementary student and then a teenager I was part of a girls’ trio. I was my church’s summer pianist and a soloist as well. I was involved in my youth group, helped in the nursery and experienced short missions trips. I was in church every time the doors were open.

I had accepted the Lord as a six-year-old. I was fed on Bible stories, and by the faithful preaching of a pastor who diligently preached the fundamentals of God’s Word. I was also fed by the words of numerous hellfire and brimstone-preaching (and screaming) evangelists. I memorized Scripture to earn scholarships to attend summer camp. At 18 I went off to a Christian college. (It sounds good doesn’t it? Isn’t that what we want for all of our kids?)

Church was my life. I had been there from the time I was little. I didn’t know anything different. I thought I knew all about God.

In 2007 we had been on the mission field for eight years. Due to circumstances beyond our control life became a sometimes too exciting roller coaster ride. We found ourselves completely helpless by human standards and totally dependent on God. My whole idea of who God is was being challenged.

It was during this time a colleague challenged me to read the Bible, not for the purpose of finding life application, but instead with the goal of finding, or searching out God. To read God’s Word not with a “me” focus but with a “God” focus. This changed my life. I thought I knew God. Of course I knew Him! I grew up with Him!

Growing up in church… God was familiar and comfortable. I had become complacent.

I offer you this: Complacency is Satan’s trap to keep us from being effective witnesses to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Complacent people sit in every pew. Complacent children sit in every Sunday School class. My husband has two whole classes of them at CVCS.

When I began to read the Bible to look for God I prayed that God would give me a fresh look at Himself. Who is God? Jeremiah 29:11 says, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” He kept that promise to me.

Finding God, learning who He is in fresh ways happened so quickly. Those Bible stories I knew by heart from a child became new and exciting. God spoke to me through them in ways I never expected. I began to see clearly God at work around me, every day. My eyes are opened.

“By encountering the Divine every day, I begin to see myself more from a Divine perspective. At the same time, I see one person in a human community of billions. Suddenly it is much harder to believe that it’s all about me.

Knowing God and having experienced God’s hand in my life, I can no longer be complacent. Complacency shuts my eyes to the world just outside the walls of my safe places – my home and my church. Complacency lures me into following the rules of my culture. Complacency lures me into un-involvement in the lives of my neighbors who need the hope of salvation.
I do NOT want to be complacent. God answered my prayer to show me Himself in His Word not for me, but for the hopeless world around me. If it stops at me, then what good has it been?

There is a hurting world out there. Crises such as in Japan this past week cause people around us to ask questions. Are we ready to give them the hope that they are searching for???

Our missions conference theme song says, Just outside these walls, the Savior is waiting, for His church to appear. Just outside these walls all hope is not lost. Just outside these walls, we will carry the cross. Just outside these walls, we will go where we’re told, Where the hope of Jesus belongs, Just outside these walls!!

When Jesus comes again, where will He find us? Where will He find you?

Mark 8:27-29 says, “Jesus and his disciples went on to the villages around Caesarea Philippi. On the way he asked them, “Who do people say I am?”They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, one of the prophets.”
“But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?””

If Jesus asked you today, “Who do you say that I am?” What would you say? Do you know Jesus? This question haunts me. What would I say? What would you say? What are you and I saying to others about Jesus… by our actions, by our compassion, and with our words? Are we offering the hope of Jesus Christ to the world outside the walls of our safe places?

Would you be challenged with me to ask God to show you who He is, and then as He answers that prayer, to take the Good News of Hope outside of these walls where there is such a desperate need to hear? There is a neighbor who needs to hear. There is a beautician who needs to hear. There is a cashier at the grocery store who needs to hear. Everywhere, people are searching. Let’s get outside the walls!

Thank you to all the family and friends who supported us this past Sunday evening during my ordination service. It was great celebrating with you this next step in ministry and life. We are looking forward to discovering what the Lord has for us to do over the next few years as I continue my study program toward a Bible degree.

This coming Sunday, Hannah and I will be traveling to Haiti with a group from our church and under the auspices of Hearts For The Hungry. The main mission of this organization is to feed children in orphanages and schools, and provide them with Bibles and school books. They have also been feeding refugees from the earthquake in January.

We plan to stay at one of the orphanages and help with feeding kids at several locations. Our main reason for going, though, is to connect with one of the schools to build a relationship that can be continued long term. We’re excited about this huge opportunity to be involved in the lives of children in Haiti.

Your involvement with us through prayer is greatly appreciated. Please pray for our preparations in the few remaining days before the trip. Also pray for the funds that need to come in to cover flights and other costs.

If you would like to provide help with funds to purchase tickets you can contact us through the Contact Us link above or give directly through PayPal by clicking the Donate button on the left.

Thank you for considering your involvement with us in this journey.